can't get hard only before sex

I think I have a very unique problem. I'm 16 and when ever im fooling around with my girlfriend or on my own I get hard every fast and I have no problems but when the rare opportunity comes when we can have sex it is very difficult to get hard and goes away quickly when achieved. This is very frustrating and worrisome. I think it might be mind games but I also get lightheaded and tingly in my hands and feet. Is this a medical, physical or mental problem?

i am 15, 16 in 2 weeks also get this problem whenever i am kissing and cuddling with my girlfriend or whenever she plays with my penis i get hard but whenever it comes down to the business i find it almost impossible to get hard, i have read a few posts on sites about erectile dysfunction and im guessing it is because i had a drunken experience where i couldn't get hard and now whenever i do go to have sex i worry that i won't i am certain this is the problem but i need some help and ways to overcome this, any help any of you could give me or to the guy above would be very helpful, now i know alot of you will be thinking you shouldn't be having sex yet but im now in a stable relationship with my girlfriend where we both want to

thanks for taking your time to read this,

if you need to ask me further questions to help me through this then feel free to ask me im not going to hide anything from you lot, my girlfriend understands the problem and would be willing to help me through it but if i cannot get any help off you guys here ill consider seeing a doctor because at 15 their is no way i am taking viagra

i was having the same problem bro so dont worry your not alone. i am 15 and whenever my girl and i are at her house and we arent planning on doin it or anything like that i can get hard easily if she just rubs up on it or something but whenever i see her in private and we are about to ... it was very hard to get it up.all that it is is anxiety. just relax take it slow. this normally happens when you go out with a girl and it takes a while to get her to give it up and when she's ready your subconscious fucks you up lol. what i did was just relax calm down, and foreplay for a lil while. you got to work up to it, thats all it is. start slow, just kiss and rub all over eachothers body for a lil bit lol no homo, get head if your girl will do that, etc. and whichever thing gets you hardest do that for a lil while each time your about to f*** and just think about that before your about to put it in.
get at me if it helped. 1

You kids...
You really crack me up sometimes. Erectile dysfunction, huh. Sure. You've probably got BPH too.

My point is, these are old men's disorders. I just at the age (52) where I need to start worrying about this stuff. You guys should live so long!

All you're feeling is a little anxiety. It's perfectly normal. Sex is serious stuff. It's great, but it's serious. Sleep with the wrong girl--or the right girl at the wrong time--and you could get her pregnant, which can change your life and hers forever. Or you could get an STD, which can also have a serious impact on your quality of life.

You may not be thinking about these things when you're with your girlfriends, but at some level you are aware of all these issues. Other things that may or may not be going through your hormone-addled brains could include emotional issues. Does she love you? Do you love her? What would your parents think if they knew what you were doing? What would her parents think if they knew what you were doing?

Does any of this resonate with any of you guys? Don't lie. I mean really: does it?

If it does, here's what to do: talk to her. If you have concerns around any of this stuff, what do you think she's feeling? If you love each other, care for each other. Share your feelings. This is what love is all about. You might find that sharing feelings can strengthen your relationship more than having great sex, and you might be able to put things into perspective and put sex on the back burner until you're both emotionally ready for it.

Most all the posts so far have hit upon the same thing from different angles.

Sex, particularly rushed and clandestine, all have high anxiety associated with it.

All men have some time when their erection just won't cooperated. the key is NOT to get all jacked out of shape by it, but accept it and laugh. There are plenty of other things you can do to exchange pleasure, even in a non-sexual vein.

The worst thing to do is to build it up into a federal case, and have it in the front of your mind the next time you're headed for sex...and the next...and the next. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy then.

Relax, and next time you think you might have sex with her, tell her that you want to take it slow. And don't go in with expectations that you will be doing anything.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

I'm 16 and I had the same exact problem. Me and my gf would be rubbin together and makin and out and shit like that and id hav a hard on. then when she goes to give me a head, my dick gets soft in her mouth!?!?!? wtf is goin on here i can understand if i got soft right before sex but i should atleast be able to get head.

um, okay. there's no need for personal insults referring to it being an old man's disease. it's a psychological impotence. i'm pretty much going through the same thing at the age of 15. it's all about you needing to relax. i'm still trying to aid this problem, and hopefully soon it will all work out good. it's pretty much just a domino effect: you can't get hard, so you stress, and then you stress, so you can't get hard. everything to fix this problem really is easier said than done. it feels pretty damn depressing just thinking about the times of losing your erection. just know that an erection is supposed to come off of your subconcious. don't concentrate much on it. think about just how you enjoy being with your girl and how sexy she is. usually when i'm not even paying attention to my level of arousal, i can get hard. this is all just psychological. try to forget about the past. the reason i lose it when about to have intercourse is because it's hard not to think about whether i can keep it or not. pu*** feels so good, but those thoughts of doubt are always on my mind. if anyone has anything more to add, please do so. me and my girl are looking for a way to fix this, and that's the best approach. make sure to consult the girl you're having problems with in the situation. be open about it.

Sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on this already.

As for going soft when about to get head, it may be something in your head that you think it's dirty... or forbidden... or that your afraid of such intense feelings...
I know that when I get very intense stimulation on the glans (or head) I tend to deflate also... but I don't think of it as "ED"...
Only that it's too intense for me right then.
In the middle of intercourse, there's so much more sensation going on from other areas, that it doesn't seem to be an issue.

Hope this helps.
PS: At age 52, I'm starting to be flagging a little more often... but that doesn't stop us. We keep playing around at it.
At age 15, it's most probably nerves. Keep at it, and make sure you're using protection. Every time!

Hey Boys

I'm 17 and I've always kind of had this problem. It's just because you stress right before you insert. You may not even realize you're anxious but your body sure does. Its important you don't worry so much. Just have fun with it. Sex doesn't have to be the goal in a relationship. If you can't get an erection just turn your performance anxiety into performance variety!

Want proof? On the count of three get an erection... 1, 2, 3! Well? Yeah didn't think so. Our body doesn't work like that. Now close this browser and check a google image of Angelina Jolie. Now there ya go!

Have fun with your girl, take it slow. Give her a full sensual experience, realize how amazingly hot she is and once you loosen up a bit your Mr. Johnson will show up to work!

Good Luck to Everyone!

Im 18, now im pretty sure i already understand my issue and it wasn't explained above but here we go. Like the other guys before insertion i go limp, although i strongly believe its because im not comfortable with the girl perhaps i have an issue with anxiety as well. at the age of 18 ive had sex with my ex very easily, Not at first mind you, a lot of that i believe might have to do with comfortably. slept with her then probably 3-4 days later we broke up immediately after which i was sleeping with another girl that was far more beautiful than her and while i hate her out and she gave me head i was Very hard, then it comes down to business and i was only semi-hard... then a week or two later i get with another girl that is Even more gorgeous and she would give me a little HJ and i was up hard again... comes down to it and nothing. could i get some help? and i hope that any of what i said hit home with you.