Things to say to Keep the Peace

In our lives we have many different types of relationships; we have marriage or romantic relationships; we have friendship relationships; we have family relationships; we even have Internet relationships.  In every relationship there will be times of stress or hurt feelings and the once peaceful relationship can get a bit rocky.  I will break each type of relationship down and try to give you idea or tips about how to bring peace back into those relationships.

Marriage or Romantic Relationships

Marriage and or romantic relationships are hard work, even at the best of times.  It is naive to think that at one point or another you won’t have a difference of opinions which may lead to hurt feelings, anger, frustration, and cross words.  The peace in your relationship has turned to stress and neither one of you want to give in.  Well, one of you has to be willing to say those magic words and do what you must to bring peace back into the relationship.  “Magic words” you ask?  Here is my list.

•    I’m sorry
o    Possibly the two hardest words for some people to say.  And you know, it doesn’t matter if you think you were right and the other person was wrong; saying “I’m sorry” tells your partner that you willing to take the blame, thus your partner will most likely apologize as well.  Magically, peace is restored.  The secret is to let it go from that point on; don’t fall prey to wanting to dig it back up and use it at another time as ammunition in another disagreement.  Once you apologize that means it’s over with; done. 

•    Never go to sleep angry
o    We’ve all heard this countless times from couples whom have been married for umpteen years; I tend to listen to folks whom have made it through the mud and the muck and survived all those bumpy roads.  It’s very true; if you go to bed angry without resolving your differences, you will wake up with them on your mind and ruin your entire day.  Settle your differences before going to bed; there are other romantic benefits to this important tip.

•    Recognizing your faults
o    As painful and humbling as it might be, it is an important factor in regaining the peace in your marriage or relationship.  Nobody is perfect and when you note your faults and express those to your mate, your mate will generally acknowledge his or her faults as well.  In the end you will come to an understanding and peace will be restored.
I’ve always said and will probably always continue to say that it is hard to appreciate the good times unless you’ve had some bad times.  The air is always sweeter after the storm.
 

Keeping the Peace in Friendships

All through our life we have friends and we lose friends; if we’re lucky we’ll hold on to one or two of these friendships all our lives, no matter how far apart you are or how long it’s been since you’ve seen each other. 

Maintaining adult friendships is almost as much work as maintaining your romantic or marriage relationship; you have to be able to invest time and energy to the relationship to keep it alive.  Some adult friendships are so close that it’s inevitable that sooner or later they will have an opposing issue to deal with.  Sadly it is these issues that can sever a friendship completely and leaving both individuals feeling like they had just lost their best friend; which is, indeed, what has happened.  So the question is, how do you keep the peace in your adult friendship?

•    I’ll say it again, those magic words, “I’m sorry”. 
o    Pride has destroyed more friendships than anything else and if one of the two individuals would just apologize the issue would be settled and the friendship would continue on, stronger than ever.

•    Compromise
o    This means you must be willing to meet your friend half way and somewhat negotiate the issue and come to the agreement to agree to disagree.  It’s quite simple and all it requires is being willing to respect the other person’s views, even if they aren’t the same as yours.

Family relationships include all blood relatives and the spouses or those relatives.  It’s amazing how many families become divided over really minimal issues.  Family feuds are probably the most damaging of all because these are the people whom you are supposed to count on the most in your life.  When families have issues and one side is divided by the other side, things can get really hurtful and ugly.  Mending the ties that bind can sometimes be the most difficult, depending upon the issue and how many individuals are involved.  But there is hope; here are some things that you can do to bring peace back into your family relationships.

•    Communication
o    All individuals concerned must be willing to sit down and discuss the problem calmly and as adults.  You can’t be pointing fingers and calling out blame; you have to be willing to listen when somebody else is talking and talk calmly when it comes your turn to talk.

•    Finding the root of the problem
o    Many times when there are family conflicts the initial issue that began the conflict becomes the root of the problem which then sprouts other conflicts.  When it comes to discussing the issues, many individuals can’t recall why the problems started in the first place.  Once you are able to dig up that root you can kill it along with everything else that has sprouted from it.  Kill the root and the tree dies. 

Internet Relationships

There are literally thousands of social networks on the Internet and people connect with others and form honest friendships.  The problem with these types of friendships is if there is an issue that comes between two Internet friends; one or the other can simply not respond to emails and close the line of communication completely.  How can you keep this from happening?

•    Communication
o    It is extremely important to keep an open mind and open communication with your online friends; if you can’t do that you will most certainly lose that friendship

•    Saying “I’m sorry”
o    Seems like a common thread here, doesn’t it?  Those two words are so very hard to say sometimes but saying them can mean the difference in keeping the peace or losing a friend.

In every single relationship you have, keeping the peace depends upon having open communication, letting go of pride, and learning from your mistakes.  Relationships are hard work and they need to be tended to; like a garden.  If you don’t tend to your garden it will be invaded by weeds that will choke out the fruit of your labor.