Helping people cope with their chronic illness

Although different people have different aspects on all this, the one undisputable fact is that having a long-term or chronic illness can disrupt your life in many ways. Chronic illnesses can be frightening because the patients may not understand why this is happening to them. All the changes can cause stress, anxiety, and anger. It is difficult for them to understand that relying on other people when necessary does not indicate weakness or failure.

Is there anything we could do to help our loved ones who suffer from some of the many chronic illnesses out there today? Family and friends should be there for the patient and should all focus on the strengths that remain, on the accomplishments that can still be achieved.

Why is coping with a chronic illness so difficult?

It is one thing to experience a short-term condition such as a simple bronchitis or the flu, when you know you will be feeling better and functioning normally within a week or so, and an entirely different one to be subject to a chronic illness that  can alter your lifestyle in a number of ways irretrievably. Pain and fatigue are probably the most common symptoms of a chronic illness. Many chronic illnesses also have consequences on the patient’s physical appearance, which can diminish a positive self-image and demolish self-esteem. This is the moment when patients may prefer isolation and withdraw from friends and social activities. Feeling of usefulness is also one of the things that chronic illness patients lack, because the illness often influences their ability to function at work.
Of course, this is all accompanied with terrible stress, which leads to frustration, anger, hopelessness, and, at times, depression. 

Phases of the battle with a chronic illness

People with chronic illnesses usually go through different psychological states, especially the younger ones, because the younger people know that they are missing a lot. Some of the phases most often expressed are:

Crisis stage: During the crisis stage the patient is seriously ill and very frightened. The illness is causing both psychological and physical damage. The patients often don’t accept the fact that they are ill, but believe that they will recover completely. The patient should be directed inward toward healing, and controlling panic.
The ability to respond to a crises changes with time, because a patient often becomes unable to appreciate signs of concern and affection of people surrounding them. This makes them angry, and creates a vicious circle. For patients, surviving is the primary concern, and they simply don’t have time to think about anything else.

Isolation stage: After that acute state of disease comes an isolation stage. This happens when the patient realizes that his disease isn't sometimes that will go away, that there may never be a full recovery. All this can produce a stiffness in a patient’s dealings with others and oneself. This stage is also a problem for the family, because it can become exhausted during the acute crisis stage. Both patient and family are now aware of the fact that their lives may never be the same.
The idea of chronic illness is terrifying to most people who are not ill. This creates several emotional barriers in the patient, and it is very difficult for them to ask for help because of a strong feeling of guilt about having the disease.

Anger stage: Anger is the stage most hazardous to one’s emotional well-being. Because of expressed feelings of terror, anxiety, and helplessness, and because of the sense of injustice, patients often enter the state of tremendous anger, which may even lead to suicide. There are two reasons for this self-targeted anger – it is almost impossible to be furious with fate, and there is no external opponent. Suicide may sometimes seem like the only solution. Further complicating things, the illness causes a sense of helplessness.

Patient and family

We must not forget that there is also a family affected by having a chronic illness patient in the house. Ideally, families realize that the sick person is not the same entity as the disease. They should understand that the whole family is in it together, and support each other in order to cope with both the anxiety and the practical life changes. The patient should, with the family’s assistance, try to take back control in small steps.

Common disabling and helpful thoughts

There are several typical errors which can cause nothing but wrong believes and a sense of worthlessness, some of which are:

1.      "I am not the person I once was."
2.      "I can't provide for my family."
3.      "Others are not what they used to be”
4.      "Everyone thinks I am nothing but a burden”
5.      "Everybody is getting on with their life and I am stuck here."
6.      "No matter how many times I try to get up, the illness flares up and knocks me down again every time. There's no point in trying."

You must prevent these kinds of thought in our friends or family members suffering from a chronic illness. Patients should be pointed in the right directions. Some useful tips for them may be:

•         You must keep a fighting spirit
•         You must like yourself under all circumstances, even when you think you don't look that good
•         You must have a strong belief that you are more than your body. There is more to you than the physical functions you can perform
•         You must have a problem-solving attitude
•         Accept your illness and move on with your life

What kind of help is available?

There are many types of help available for people with chronic illnesses, such as:

Support groups: A very useful sharing experience, they provide an environment where you can learn new ways of dealing with your illness. 

Individual counseling: Unfortunately, not every patients benefit from support group treatment, because sometimes people have problems that are better addressed in a one-on-one atmosphere. In this case, individual counseling sessions could help.

Coping skills: Here is some more useful advice to help cope with the reality of the situation.

o        Make Your Expectations Realistic: The real thing that you should accept is that you might never be cured totally. Your illness is something you need to accept and learn to live with it as best you can. You can dramatically improve your lifestyle if you just start thinking that way.

o        Approach Problems Actively: This ability consists of defining the problem and determining the outcome you want. You must have enough energy to constitute a step toward the solution.

o        Seek Appropriate Help: Try to accept the attitude that it is not a sign of moral weakness to ask for assistance. Many chronic illness patients can recognize the misguided tendency to regard asking for help as shameful.

o        Handle Your Anger: A patient must understand that anger levels must be lowered. They must learn to be emotionally efficient and energy-conscious. Energy is a tremendous problem for those with chronic illness because there is none to waste.

o        Participate in Social Life: The most important thing for a patient is to embrace all the positive energy available. For these purposes one can use family, friends, self-help groups, or community groups.

o        Live In The Present: Patient must learn to live in the present, although it can be challenging to look neither too far back nor too far forward. Too much memories of the past or idle contemplations of the future can ruin you emotionally. Learn to live in the present moment.