Depression after kidney transplant.

I had a renal transplant 9 months ago, and these past months have been the worst of my life. I'm resentful that I had to undergo such a procedure and the recovery was very painful. I had bled internally for 3 days after surgery, i formed clots in my bladder and had to pass them and i had to undergo surgery again. The scar on my abdomen turned into an unsightly skin tumor (hypertrophic scarring). I absolutely hate the meds; prograf makes me shake like crazy and the prednisone turned me into a fat raving lunatic and I'm resentful that my doctor won't put me on a steroid free protocol. Having to go to the hospital every 2 weeks is unbearable to me. I hate being hooked up to IVs, I hate having to be timely on my meds, I'm so resentful towards the life i will be forced to live.

This may sound strange, but i miss kidney disease so much. I knew I was very sick but I was happy, I had a good life. Honestly, I can't go the rest of my life with this transplant (i'm 19). Did anyone else feel like this after a their transplant?

p.s. I never went on dialysis... I missed it barely. My creatnine was 7.4 when I had the transplant.

hi just read you mail ive just had my 2nd transplant and like you said it is hell i had the same a breeding after a biosie which had to be coiled to stop the bleeding. now i have a rejection where i have had to have a plasma exchande now im on higt dosages of predision so i feel ugly like a cow!! i have been in and out of the hospital since i recieved the transpant which is 7 weeks age and its not looking like i´ll be out soon.
at the moment i can´t sleep because i have joint pains another side affect.
whats shit i´m on a rollercoaster and can´t get off.
i was doing diasylis and was feeling well. when i got the call for the transplant. i was unsure because the frst transplant was hell. but it got better. the only thing is that the predison is shit

i am on my third kidney transplant and everything is working well but im so depressed the prednisione messed up my hair it used to be so thick and beautiful now its so thin and my abdomen is all puffy and they made the third incision for this kidney right down the middle of my stomach around my belly button it looks so ugly and i used to have a beautiful flat stomach and now i hate looking in the mirror i dont know what to do with my life now nothing makes me happy and i feel my relationship with my boyfriend is going to end soon .....

I received a kidney/pancreas transplant in November 2005. I have done perfectly fine since then, I am on prograf and cellcept. The side effects of prograf are shakiness. I feel for you all, but I always look at the brightside... If you didn't have to do dialysis, be glad. I went for 7 months, and believe me, the side effects that you have are way better than anything dealing with all the restrictions of dialysis. I can say that maybe I was lucky after my transplant, I was in the hospital 5 days but had a siotic nerve hit in my leg so I couldn't walk for about 5 weeks, recovery was painful but my scar is very, very light. Try to look at it as your still alive. Having to deal with the rest of your life on dialysis, I wouldn't wish for kidney disease on my worse enemy. Think about that.

ugh....not what i needed to hear^^^^^

There are days where I would prefer dying to this. I know that if I had gone on dialysis I would definately be dead. I would have been so horrified to what my lifehsad become I would have let myself die.

My one year anniversary is coming up a week from today.

p.s. u r lucky to have a tiny scar. Mine was very disfiguring. I have really bad hypertrophic scarring.

Hi Guyz,

Im from holland and I had my new kidney in 2003 I ahve to say I went throu a hell time I got fat ugly and I missed the time I was sick cause at least I looked beautiful.

When I started gaining so much weight I decided to do something about it in terms of dieting and sport. I managed to loose a couple of KGS but since a year my prednison is reduced to the minimum and I couls emmidiatly notice chnages in my body. Im not what I was before my trasplant but Im happy to be a life.

Thank u

Hi, I had a renal trasplant in 2002 and this is my second one. In 2000 I had my first transplant, sadly this never worked. I was on hemodialysis 3 times a week this was tough. After my first transplant I had mixed emotions for approx 2 years until I recieved my second transplant from a live related donor. With my kidney failing within the first week or so I cant tell you what experiences I've been through. The drugs I had to take made me sick, dizzy had the shakes and everything else you could imagine. due to the steroids I had to take they damaged my hips, you guessed it I had to have them both replaced (I was 16). This was just one big rollercoaster, I couldnt believe what I was hearing at the time. At this point in my life I didnt want to live anymore, I was angry, crying constantly and full of regret. My farther then donated his kidney, one of the most proudest moments of my life. He is fine back to full health and been annoying ha ha. At this present time my creat level has increased i'm hoping its nothing too serious because I really cant cope with anymore. I had 3 kidneys removed in aug 2006, that was hard, I felt I had been totally butchered, again I thought things can only get better I never thought I would be so ill again. After only two weeks in hosp I came out and started college the following week, crazy I know but I was determined to go. Im currently studying on a access course and start uni in sep to do my nurse training. Its very hard trying to keep up with a full time job and full time college but I know I will get there. I have experienced so much in my life this is only a small part, please try look on the bright side, there are people always worse of than yourself even when im feeling at the lowest point I always keep fighting. I have a great family and I worship all my friends, times are precious so make the most of what we have and not what we don't. I think myself lucky that I have had a transplant at all. Anyway if you fancy a chat please reply, im willing to help any of you who are feeling a little low, I still get that now and im post 5 years but it never goes away, its always there, the if's and buts. RREMEMBER what i said please keep your chins up and cheesey grins on your faces. I hope this helps a little take care x x

Thanks, it did.

On March 20 of this year, I received a kidney from my wonderful brother. I had had kidney disease since 1994 but was completely asymptomatic. The day of my surgery, my creatinine was at 9.0 and it felt weird going in for the TX when I felt completely normal. I work full-time and did so until the day before my surgery. Fortunately, I never had to go on dialysis.
I will tell you that although I feel great and almost like nothing has happened to me, my meds (Prograff and Cellcept) make me very jittery, nervous, anxious, depressed and I feel like I am losing my short-term memory. The one thing that has really made me feel much better (physically and mentally) is to take one Xanax every morning. I can immediatly feel it when I run out...it only takes a day or two and I have to get another RX right away.
I do hope you feel better!